


Nighthawk

by loser1419



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Yunhwan, all jinhwan ships since im whipped, but it's just one fic so not properly tagging them, i can't write anymore so im dumping this here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-13 02:00:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20574590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loser1419/pseuds/loser1419
Summary: A collection of drafts that I've had for ages, and already lost the inspiration to continue.





	1. binhwan. manage me (and my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this will just serve as my dumpster of all fics that seemed promising to me before, but not now. Please refrain from asking me for the next part of a certain ficlet, because I won't. Or if I ever did decide to continue something, then I will, at my own will. Thank you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin isn’t sure if tolerating his employer's actions is part of his job descriptions.

Hanbin isn’t sure if tolerating these actions is part of his job descriptions.

“Where are you going?” Jinhwan, the rising solo singer, and also the idol that he’s supposed to manage, stands in front of him with his hands on his hips. Hanbin turns away to hide, but the ever adamant Jinhwan won’t let him go anywhere.

“Please go back to your seat, Jinhwan-ssi. Your fans are waiting.” Hanbin mumbles, embarrassed by the continuous camera shots directed at them. He adjusts his glasses up, so it won’t slide down his face from how low his head was bowed.

Hanbin squirms a little more before Jinhwan finally decides to take pity on him and went to go back to his seat, but not with one last pat at the top of his head. The crowd cheers and Hanbin blushes. 

* * *

“Bang! Bang!” Hanbin is sorting out the fans’ gifts into a box when a familiar voice shrieks behind him. He must have looked comical as he faces the source of the noise, because Jinhwan looks like he’s dying out of laughter. He glances at the fans side to see if they noticed it too only to find out that they’re laughing too.

“Jinhwan-ssi,” Hanbin tries to sound strict though his embarrassment prevented him from doing so.

“Bang Bang Bang” Jinhwan repeats when he calmed down from laughing, and now he’s dancing to his senior’s song with a toy gun directed at him. Hanbin shakes his head at the childish act, and insists on making him go back to his seat to no avail.

“Bang-ya” Jinhwan shoots him then proceeds to blow at the muzzle dramatically, and he runs away even before Hanbin could react. The fans laugh at Jinhwan’s antics, and a co-worker pats Hanbin’s shoulder sympathetically.

* * *

“The next fan meeting will be held on the day after tomorrow at Busan. It will start at around 4pm so I’ll have to fetch you before lunch. Please be ready by that time. You have no schedule tomorrow so you could sleep in until late. If you’re going out, please let us know.” Hanbin looks up when he’s finished reading, only to find Jinhwan staring fixedly at him. He quickly looks down again and flips another page, suddenly self conscious.

“Your voice is really nice. Can you sing?” Hanbin peeks and heaves a sigh of relief when Jinhwan leans back to his seat. The lights inside the car is dim, but from his place, it highlights the idol’s features. Aside from his bubbly personality and wonderful voice, Jinhwan is also beautiful, so it doesn’t really come off as surprising that he’s attracting female and male fans, be it young or old. He’s got charms and talent to show.

“I rap.”

“Really?” Jinhwan is leaning towards him again and if it isn’t for the seatbelt, then he’ll be a lot closer. His eyes are sparkling with interest and Hanbin wishes he hadn’t admitted it at all. “Can you rap for me?”

“No.” Sure, Hanbin rapped and won some underground competition before, but that was years ago and he stopped now. He doesn’t think he’s good enough too and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself if he tries it again now.

“Come on. Just one bar. Please?” Even if Jinhwan looks really cute right now with his lips pursed and puppy eyes focused on him, he just _ can’t. _ “Please?”

Hanbin shakes his head and tries to look as apologetic as possible. Jinhwan thankfully stops and moves back, arms crossed in front of him. A perfect picture of a child who wasn’t given a candy. “You’re really no fun.”

Hanbin smiles at Jinhwan, who now had his back on him while staring at the moving scenery outside. Jinhwan is sulking, and this childish behavior annoyed him when he first started working for him but not now. The act was surprisingly, almost endearing now. 

Hanbin shakes his head to dispel his weird thoughts before they become weirder, and then he's pulling his phone out to check their future events.

_ (Unbeknownst to him, Jinhwan is smiling too, having witnessed the genuine smile of his usually strict manager as it was reflected on the car window.) _


	2. junhwan. christmas pickup lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe comes back to his hometown, to celebrate Christmas the old way. (Alternately how it was dumb of him to think that blurting out pick up lines to his long time crush is a good conversation starter.)

For years, Jinhwan's Christmas celebration was always filled with gifts and people--some of which he's already acquainted with because they've been with them every Christmas dinner for years, but some were new faces. Jeju is a small place, so Jinhwan would immediately assume that if there's people that he can't recognize, then they were new to his town and probably became a regular on his mother's cafe. His parents love inviting people over to come celebrate with them, and Jinhwan eventually got used to the people that he's forced to meet for a single night every year.   
  
The dinner ended and Jinhwan excused himself amidst the friendly chatters to sit at their front porch. Their makeshift Christmas tree is on full display at their yard, and even though Jinhwan had complained all throughout when they were decorating it, he still enjoyed the experience.    
  
"Shouldn't you be on the top of that tree, Angel?"   
  
Jinhwan gasps and clutches his chest, surprise at the sudden voice. He turns to look at the man who is now sitting beside him-- his presence totally went unnoticed until he started to speak earlier, and Jinhwan's irritation subsides a little from seeing the man's apologetic expression.   
  
"Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice."   
  
Jinhwan has absolutely no idea what the man is blabbing about. He brushes a what he could only assume as a pick up line, to look closely at the man's face. The stranger's initial confidence dwindled as he tries to avoid Jinhwan's scrutinizing eyes but unfortunately, Jinhwan still can't recognize him. Though he looks oddly familiar, Jinhwan can't come up with a name. Must be a new guy then.   
  
"I'm not a gift, but you can unwrap me later. Thank you."   
  
They both cringe at that. That was extremely unnecessary, and the man looks like he's already regretting ever saying it. 

In lieu of an answer, Jinhwan decides to ask the obvious. "Who are you?"   
  
Which is a terrible idea, because the man looks visibly offended as he waits for Jinhwan to add something to it that would say that he's just joking. Unfortunately, Jinhwan means it. "Hyung, really? That hurts."   
  
"I'm sorry, do we know each other?"   
  
"Hyung, it's me." The man points at himself as if Jinhwan would know him by just that. Jinhwan remains skeptical, and then grew more frustrated with each passing second that Jinhwan remains clueless. "It's me, Junhoe!"   
  
"Junhoe?" The scrawny kid who always looked mad, is what Jinhwan wanted to add, but he's decent enough to shut his mouth.    
  
"Goo Junhoe! Yejin noona's sister!"   
  
"Oh." So it's really him. No wonder, Jinhwan feels oddly acquainted with him earlier. Now that he properly got a good look on him, he could recognize some features that is distinctly Junhoe's. It must be the even bigger and firm posture that the younger has now, his nowhere to be found baby fats on his cheeks, or the nervous but bright smile on his face that makes him look indistinguishable.    
  
"You look different." Jinhwan smiles apologetically, and it must be from the cold wind that makes Junhoe's cheeks turn rosy. "I'm sorry I didn't immediately recognize you."   
  
"It's okay. I'm more handsome now right?'   
  
This time, Jinhwan chuckles, amused by the change on Junhoe's behavior. "And way more outspoken. What happened to the moody and grouchy kid from before?"   
  
Junhoe whines, and there he is, the kid that Jinhwan was familiar with. "Hyung, I'm not that bad."   
  
"Yeah?" Jinhwan asks, barely concealing his smile with the way Junhoe eagerly nods his head. He's still a kid, but much more endearing now that he could talk to him normally instead of glaring all the time. "Anyway, how are you? You weren't here for years right?"   
  
"You noticed?" Junhoe's face brightens, for some reason unknown to Jinhwan. Post teenager Junhoe is weird, but a good kind of weird. "I was settling in at my university in the city, so I just got the time to come here on holiday. How about you, hyung?"   
  
"Same old. I started work at the city too this year, so maybe we could run in on each other there."   
  
"Are you meeting someone again?" Jinhwan raises an eyebrow at that, surprised that Junhoe immediately went there. Junhoe's shoulders suddenly sag, and Jinhwan wants to pull it back up, wants to tell Junhoe that it's fine, and he's not offended so he doesn't have to look sad about it. "Sorry, it's just that the last time we met, you're in a pretty bad break up."   
  
"No," Jinhwan gives him a smile, hoping that it'll make Junhoe feel better. "I'm too busy to meet anybody."   
  
Junhoe nods and detaches his attention away to stare at his gloved hands instead, as he bites back a smile, looking quite pleased with himself. "Good."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Are you a reindeer?"    
  
Jinhwan tilted his head in confusion, can't keep up with the flow of their conversion and Junhoe's mood anymore. "Suddenly?"   
  
"Because you sleigh." Junhoe finally looks up to beam at him, his cheeks suspiciously looks slightly tinted, but like earlier, Jinhwan just assumes that it's because of the cold wind. He recovers instantly from the abrupt pick up line and takes it with a small laugh.    
  
"If I hadn't known you as my noona's best friend's younger brother, I would really think that you're flirting with me."   
  
Jinhwan smiles teasingly at Junhoe, before looking at the empty skies. The stars are gone tonight.   
  
"I'm quite offended that all five attempts went terribly wrong. I took my time in researching and practicing them you know." Jinhwan nods, absentmindedly. He didn't really understand what Junhoe means by that, and it takes him a full minute before it completely dawns on him.   
  
"Wait, so you really are flirting with me?"   
  
"Duh."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"What do you mean why? You flirt with someone you like, right?"   
  
"What?"   
  
  
  
  



	3. bobhwan. the crying game.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby was forced to play a silly game, which turns out to be not that silly after realizing what it truly means.

As far as Jiwon could remember, he was just peacefully minding his own business, playing around with his music, trying to see what would fit this and that, when suddenly, he was yanked away by a frenzied Jinhwan.  
  
It was a blur for him, they did a lot of turms, rounded up the corner, goes up and down the stairs repeatedly, and even though Jiwon has been on this building for more than half a decade already, he had never known that the building has that huge amount of corridors and rooms.   
  
Jinhwan stopped eventually, and Jiwon silently thanked the heavens for answering his prayer because they had just done their dance practice and all the walking started to hurt his legs. Jiwon did a quick scan on their surroundings, but it was fruitless because every room and corridors were alike, and the patch that would indicate the floor and room number were removed. Jiwon stopped his survey, and was surprised to see that Jinhwan was staring intently at him.   
  
Jiwon gulped, and it's silly but his mind nagged him with a thought that maybe, Jinhwan will finally give in on his violent tendencies and threats towards him. It's the perfect place and time for murder because no one is around-- their current place is hidden from normal view and it's lunch time so most personnel must have gone for a lunch break.   
  
When Jinhwan grabbed his arm, Jiwon flinched wildly, almost smacking the older in the face with his free arm, and it's so embarrassing but Jinhwan didn't seem to mind. He just let go of his hold on his arm, as he shot him with a bewildered expression, already used with all his quirks.   
  
"You're zoning out." Jinhwan remarked. Jiwon noticed how the former just can't seem to stand still, as he kept on shifting his weight from one foot to another which only meant that he's restless and nervous. If they had been sitting, then he's sure that Jinhwan would start on biting his fingernails too.   
  
"Are you planning to kill me?"   
  
"What? No." Jiwon was aware that he's over thinking earlier, but it still didn't stop him from releasing a sigh of relief at the confirmation that no, Jinhwan will not harm him. Jinhwan might be smaller than him, but he's been on the receiving end of his attacks to know that that man should never be underestimated. He ain't little giant for nothing.   
  
"So what are we doing here?"   
  
"I actually want to play a game." Jinhwan started to nibble on his lips, and he's blinking a lot too, and okay, putting the murder thing aside, the former's behavior was starting to worry Jiwon.   
  
"Why here? You could have just asked me to play it on our studio."   
  
Jiwon saw the internal struggle in Jinhwan's eyes because his question made so much sense, he's kinda proud of it. It's short lived though, because Jinhwan was still not providing him with an answer, so he took pity on the older male and decided to just go whatever game that he is planning.   
  
"We'll be needed back in our studio in a few hours and I still had to finish my verses. Let's play your game quickly so we could go early. What is it called?"   
  
Jinhwan looked at everywhere besides Jiwon, as if the answer that he's waiting for could be found on the closed doors of the adjacent studio rooms. Thankfully, before Jiwon could throw in another question, Jinhwan finally decided to speak.   
  
"It's easy. Whoever cries the fastest, wins."   
  
"What the fuck?" Jinhwan looked seriously upset at his expletives, so Jiwon tried to tone his incredulity down. Just a little though, because the randomness of everything was weirding him out. "Okay, why?"   
  
"Nothing, I'm bored." Jiwon almost swore again because he had important matters to attend to and Jinhwan's explanation didn't really justify why he's suddenly dragged here, but something about the tone of Jinhwan's voice stopped him from doing it.   
  
"Please, just one round."   
  
They didn't spend that much time alone together, like they did before they get all busy with their schedules, but some things never changed between them. For example, he still can't to deny Jinhwan's requests no matter how silly they were.   
  
"Fine, just one round, and then we're going back."   
  
He's expecting Jinhwan to light up a little at his agreement, but he didn't. Something was really wrong. Something surely happened to Jinhwan.   
  
"Okay, let's start at the count of three."   
  
Jiwon nodded, as he temporarily pushed his worries aside because he's competitive and he won't let himself lose in any game as much as possible. He readied himself for any sad thoughts that would help him cry faster, or anything that will trigger his tear ducts to start on producing tears.   
  
"1, 2, 3!"   
  
Jiwon blinked, once, twice, thrice, and when he's on his fourth blink (blinking would help you cry faster according to Jiwon's own researches so don't judge), he's quite surprised that Jinhwan already had tears streaming not on just one, but on both of his eyes.   
  
"Wow, that was fast. You won, hyung as expected." Jiwon wiped the invisible tear on his cheek, feeling quite silly for even thinking that he stood a chance against their biggest crier. He had expected Jinhwan to tease him about his win, like what he'll always do after their friendly matches, but surprisingly, Jinhwan still kept his head down.

“Hyung, the game was already done.” Jiwon's eyes followed the movement of the teardrop hanging on Jinhwan's chin, before it fell on the ground. “Why are you still crying?”

“Sorry, once I start, it'll be hard to stop. Please give me a moment or two.”

But the minutes stretched on with Jinhwan still in tears. Jiwon just stood before the weeping man, finally voicing out what he had been speculating since earlier.

“You're not fine, aren't you?”

Jinhwan didn't reply verbally, but Jiwon never received a more definite answer than the slight tremor on Jinhwan's shoulders and the continuous tears that fell straight to the ground.

Jiwon sighed, before closing the short distance between them, enveloping the older male in a tight hug. Jinhwan didn't resist but he didn't return the hug either. Jinhwan didn't say anything, but with the way he clutched on Jiwon's shirt a few minutes after, it's enough for him to know that he did the right thing.

“Hyung, if you needed a hug, you could've just simply asked me for one.”  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wished i had someone like bobby back then uwu


	4. binhwan. eavesdropping vampy

"Babe?" Hanbin slaps Jinhwan's hand away when it reaches out for him. Jinhwan furrows his brows, can't believe that Hanbin is still not over it.    
  
Humans have short lifespan, but they like to spend it brooding over nonsensical things.   
  
"I'm going to sleep. You--" Hanbin halts in the middle of the grand staircase, contemplating on what to say next. "You do your vampire thing."   
  
Jinhwan doesn't know what he meant by that, but Hanbin doesn't plan on explaining further as he continues his way up.   
  
The door to their bedroom clicks shut, and it's quiet for a while. Jinhwan is planning on doing the vampire thing, whatever Hanbin means by that, until he heard some grumbles upstairs which sound distinctly Hanbin's.   
  
So his human is still really mad.    
  
"Babe! I already told you I'm sorry!" Jinhwan hollers, answering Hanbin. He knows how much Hanbin hates it whenever he would eavesdrop on his own monologue, but Jinhwan can't help it. He's cute when he's whining like that.   
  
Jinhwan strains his ears and focuses, and then he could finally hear Hanbin's words again.    
  
"Yes, babe! You know I could hear you!"    
  
More silence, as Jinhwan concentrates, having fun despite Hanbin's obvious frustration.   
  
"Oh, this ability comes after I was turned! I can't just turn my hearing off so you could talk behind my back freely!"   
  
Jinhwan hears Hanbin throw something upstairs, and no, Jinhwan doesn't have to use his ability to be able to hear that. Hanbin looks like he had enough.   
  
"Ugh, fuck off!"   
  
Jinhwan laughs fondly, amused by his human's reactions. It's always fun to tease him.    
  
"Love you." Jinhwan whispers instead, as he shakes his head at his sulking human upstairs. Hanbin's hearing isn't as sharp as his-- humans' abilities aren't as great as the undead, so Jinhwan will make sure that Hanbin will hear his words again once he goes up later.   
  
But for now, he's still not done teasing yet.    
  
"Babe, I could still hear you!"


	5. yunhwan. kitchen romance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the intimate scene that YunHwan were tasked to act for their Beautiful MV shoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a gift for a wonderful friend and reading this now again, oh god i love it :((( too bad i lost my intended second chapter for it and im too lazy to think of it again lolol

  
Meeting with Yunhyeong's parents doesn't always end well. Thankfully today, they parted better than they did before. Though his parents barely stayed for less than four hours, Yunhyeong still felt like they stayed for the whole day. The stress was incomparable.   
  
The digital clocks says it's only 9PM. Fairly early than their usual sleeping sched, and yet Yunhyeong wanted nothing but to drop down on the comforts of their bed and forget that this day ever happened. He even considered skipping work tomorrow, as a reward for holding himself up well today, but he also knew that he'll worry others more if he ever did.   
  
Yunhyeong was so caught up on his thoughts, mindlessly putting their plates and cups back on its holder, that he didn't even notice a pair of padded feet that crept closer towards him. He was suddenly engulfed in the warmest back hug, effectively knocking him forward at the force of it. After a few moments of tense silence, Yunhyeong caught a whiff of a familiar scent that is distinctly  _ his,  _ and then he's putting his guard down. Call Yunhyeong whipped but this is enough to put a genuine smile back on his face.   
  
The person behind him must've felt that he's relaxed now, because Yunhyeong could feel the warm body snuggling closer to him. The arms around him grew tight in a way that made him feel secured and treasured—made him tingly and warm all over, and with each second that passed by, Yunhyeong slowly feels energized. This is what he didn't ask for, but exactly what he needed. He closed the cup holder and placed his hands around the ones wrapped around his middle, caressing it for a little while, as he sighed, contented.   
  
Deeming the moment enough for him, Yunhyeong eventually untangled the arms around him so he could look at the person draped over him. He quickly turned around, lips forming into a bigger smile when he's finally faced with the person that he adores so much.   
  
"Hyung," Yunhyeong breathed, his arms coming down to pull their body flush together, the lump on his throat was finally gone.   
  
Jinhwan answered him with a kind smile and let himself be pulled closer, tiptoeing a little so he could land a kiss on Yunhyeong's smiling mouth. It's chaste and sweet, gone before Yunhyeong could even kiss back, but it still made his heart skip a beat.   
  
Everything felt right again, now that he has Jinhwan in his arms.   
  
On a sudden rush of emotions, Yunhyeong lifted off Jinhwan from the ground, laughing softly at the squeal that he got in return. Though surprised, Jinhwan immediately recovered and wrapped his legs around Yunhyeong to balance himself.   
  
"Hyung you look taller like this."   
  
"Shut up" Jinhwan went a little red, and it's endearing to see him struggle to form his next words, embarrassed that he's being carried by the younger. "You're tired and I'm heavy. Put me down."   
  
"No, you're not." As if to prove his point, he bounced Jinhwan in his arms to readjust their positions.   
  
"Yunhyeong!" Jinhwan squeaked, hitting Yunhyeong on the chest as he wrapped his legs tighter around the latter. Yunhyeong's laughs grew louder, clearly enjoying teasing Jinhwan so much.   
  
"Sorry." Yunhyeong offered a smile, sounding apologetic but looking nothing like it. Jinhwan glared at him, but all it took was for Yunhyeong to bat his eyelashes at him and then he's chuckling too.

"Don't do that." Jinhwan murmured, as he finds his place on the juncture of Yunhyeong's neck. "It's funny."

Yunhyeong hummed, and began to sway their bodies a little to the rhythm of a song that only them could hear. It's peaceful, and Yunhyeong can't see his lover's face but he could picture him with his eyes closed. "Exactly why I'm doing it in the first place."

"Silly boy." 

Yunhyeong chose not to reply to that, opting to focus on the feeling of peacefulness that only Jinhwan could give to him instead. Through years of living with him, it's not surprising anymore that the man knew how to handle him even without no words were exchanged.

They stayed like that for a little while, savoring the tranquillity of being in each other's arms and presence, but all things must come to an end and before they knew it, Jinhwan is unconsciously scratching something behind his ear.

The sudden realization has him putting Jinhwan to sit on top of their countertop so he could look at him properly.

Judging by the look on Jinhwan's face, he must've realized it too.   
  
"Why are you still wearing this?" Yunhyeong asked, voice hard and expression a complete 360 compared to earlier, but Jinhwan knew better than to link it to something else other than the fact that he's worried for him. "Look, the wig is starting to itch you now. Why haven't you changed back to your original clothes?" 

Jinhwan looked down guiltily, and Yunhyeong hated himself more because he never meant for the former to feel like that. He's frustrated at himself more than Jinhwan still wearing that goddamn thing, but it's all coming off wrong. The peaceful bubble around them was gone in a flash, wiped away by a wake up call that they could never really ignore.   
  
"I'm fine, don't worry about me." Jinhwan tried to reassure Yunhyeong, but the latter still looked conflicted. He brought up his hand to smoothen the furrow on Yunhyeong's brow, and just as what Yunhyeong had assumed, feeling guilty for reminding him of something that was clearly the cause of the younger's dilemma.   
  
Mind racing with different ways on how to divert Yunhyeong's attention again, Jinhwan could only come up with one. He tilted Yunhyeong's head up so he could look at him in the eyes, seeing the stormy emotions being reflected on it, before he slowly leaned down.   
  
This time, when Jinhwan kisses him, he made sure to kiss every worries away— doesn't part immediately until he feels Yunhyeong's muscles relax. He lets their lips ran smoothly against each other—innocent and tender, until Yunhyeong is eventually melting, sighing on their kiss. They didn't part until later when their lungs are screaming at them to take in some air, and when they did, Jinhwan is glad that he did the right thing.   
  
Yunhyeong's cheeks were flushed, and Jinhwan knew that his own were just the same, if not much worse. Yunhyeong appeared to be lax after the kiss, going back on his initial aura before they accidentally swerve on that topic earlier.   
  
It's starting to get late and though Yunhyeong already placed him on the countertop, carrying him earlier must've still taken a toll on him. He's not showing any indication that he's already tired, but by the events that transpired today, Jinhwan knew that Yunhyeong was more than just physically tired.   
  
Taking pity on his lover, Jinhwan tried to jump off of the counter so he could pull him towards their bedroom and rest, but Yunhyeong got his whole body to prevent him from doing so. Jinhwan gently pushed the younger away, but Yunhyeong, having calmed down from the kiss, petulantly shook his head before hugging him by the waist and burying his face on his chest. Out of instinct, Jinhwan puts his hands up so he could run his fingers through his lover's thick jet black hair, earning him a satisfied hum in return.

Eventually giving in on whatever it is that Yunhyeong wishes, Jinhwan opened his legs a bit wider so Yunhyeong could comfortably press himself closer towards him. He'll abort his mission for now but later when Yunhyeong is too sleepy to argue, then maybe he'll be able to finally pull the stubborn man towards their soft bed where he could rest peacefully.

* * *

  
  
  
  
Later, with Jinhwan sleeping beside him, dressed in his usual pajamas and loose shirt, wig hidden somewhere deep inside the closet, Yunhyeong lies awake, as he reflects on the same familiar things.   
  
Someday, Jinhwan won't have to hide his real gender just to please his overbearing parents; to finally be introduced as Kim Jinhwan, instead of Kim Jinnie to his relatives. Yunhyeong hopes that he'll finally be able to show his lover's real self to others, without any pretenses, but just the wonderful person whom he originally fell in love with.   
  
Someday, Jinhwan will be able to act freely instead of being caged in the perfect fiancee material that his own parents have designed for him to have. They've been trying to cover everything up for two years with the help of their friends, occasionally slipping at certain times though still managing to keep the act going, but Yunhyeong knows that they can't continue living like this forever.   
  
Someday, the secret will be out, and when that finally happens, Yunhyeong hopes that his parents could accept Jinhwan for who he is, and the fact that he can't love any woman more than how much he loves Jinhwan.   
  
Jinhwan shifts in his sleep, tugging him closer to him in which Yunhyeong immediately relented. He threads his fingers in Jinhwan's short, soft, and  _ real _ hair, as he silently wish for that 'someday' to come sooner.


	6. bobhwan. intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> saw a tweet that prompted me to do this. incoherent and just another unedited word vomit but what's new?

Jinhwan stumbled out of the unfamiliar apartment, with the door clicking shut behind him. He's fortunate this time because at least, his partner lived in a somewhat average to modern building, unlike on the borderline dingy ones that he's forced to be in when he's had too many drinks to even think about his safety and hygiene. 

Jinhwan squinted his eyes and just like what he initially thought, there's a red blinking light at the end of the hallway, which also means that his half naked self could be monitored by anyone. He stares right through the camera for a few seconds with his clothes in his hands, before shrugging. He could hardly care. It's not like he'll come in this building again anyway.

Jinhwan proceeded to continue dressing himself on the hallway, taking his damn time and without any rush, knowing that normal people won't be up until later. The chances of someone walking in on him are low, but if they ever did, then they'll just have to enjoy the show. As much as he doesn't give a single fuck about others, he still hopes his dressing up session will go smoothly. It's hard enough to keep himself stable with his head still pounding, and having to explain to someone why he's in the hallway half naked. 

If Jinhwan saw it right earlier, then it's only 4:07 am when he left the bed. Fairly late for him since he's usually out and on the road before the clock hits 4:00 am, and he would like to account the extra time he spent sleeping on the fact that he took way more alcohol last night than his usual. He's on his last article of clothing, but after a moment of searching, he curses under his breath when he can't find the other pair of his socks. No matter how much he'd done this, he always manages to leave something behind.

Jinhwan sighs, as he dusts himself off. There's no use in berating himself for such a simple thing anyway. He's about to leave when he remembers to pat his pocket, relief immediately flooding him when he feels his watch and phone inside it. It's just that, he doesn't want to see the look of confusion on his secretary's face again when he would ask her to buy him another phone for the nth time this month. Her expression is annoying to look at, and it makes him remember how fucked up he is outside of work.

* * *

Jinhwan is back on his bed when the sun is already high up in the sky. Fortunately for him, his room provides him the darkness that he needed—his wine colored curtain is the best choice, as it shields him from the blaring sunlight that always hurts his eyes. He's fresh from the bath and he never knew how exhausted he is until he curled himself up on his king size bed. The sound of his humidifier is lulling him to sleep, but the voices inside his head is forcing him awake.

Jinhwan's friends, and the people who were aware of his night escapades, think that he always want sex, and that he's insatiable when it comes to it. Someone even slipped out that he could be an undiagnosed sex addict with the unhealthy amount of action that he's in for a single month alone. Jinhwan just laughed them off, taking no offense because he can't really blame them. He let them think that he's like that, never bothering to correct them for at least once. They think it's always about sex, but it's not.

It's something deep and silly. It's something that he knew he'll get laughed at if he tries to explain it, more than the fact that he's addicted to sex. It’s something that he had long accepted to himself before he completely gets out of hand. It's not sex, but intimacy that he seeks every night.

He wants to be touched. He wants to be looked at, admired and smiled at. He wants to feel special, wants to laugh with someone over something silly, wants to forget the hollowness that would consume him whenever he's left alone with no one to talk to in his huge apartment.

If spending a night with someone is the easiest way to achieve that, then Jinhwan will do it. Even if it's temporary—gone in the morning. Even if the laughs aren't genuine, even if the touches aren't sincere, even if the stares are filled with lust. He'll take it, and he'll savor it. He'll pretend that it's what he wants, and he'll get lost to it. It's destructive, it's dangerous and fucked up, but it's the only thing that helps him feel alive.

So his friends are wrong. It's not always about sex. It's never like that. He wants to feel loved. He wants to feel that he matters to someone, and that's what he's craving the most.

It has always been the intimacy.

* * *

  
  


Jinhwan phone dings, somewhere between 11 am to 12 noon. It's a message from his old friend and colleague, Hanbin, and he's still hungover that's why he read the message over and over again hoping that he just comprehended it wrong. He reads it once, twice, thrice, but it still has the same content. He suddenly feels like puking.

_ from: bin-ah _

_ hyung, this may sound crazy and idk if my friend is tripping but he says he knows you and that he has your socks? weird ik, but his name's kim jiwon and he just got back here after being abroad for work so it's impossible right? hahaha unless? _

_ from: bin-ah _

_ nevermind hyung, he says he's just joking please ignore my message! he says he wants to meet my friends so are you free on friday? it's on his place btw, so we'll go tgt :) _


	7. 3Kim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on webtoon Love or Hate

Hanbin stands in front of his huge windows that overlook the view of the city below him. Seoul is as busy as ever, more so now that Christmas just passed and people are now preparing for their year end parties. He was supposed to take the flight back before Christmas, but because of the sudden change of his schedules, it got pushed back for a couple more days. He took the earliest flight back to Seoul immediately after the meeting ended, and now here he is, back on his penthouse, still tired but his building excitement on what's about to happen easily overpowers that.

The sound of someone punching in the code finally echoed throughout his place sometime after 9PM. The realization that his guest finally arrived has Hanbin's smile widening by a fraction—his heart thrumming in anticipation. He checks his reflection one last time, casting a quick look on the nicely prepared table at the center of his living room, and then walking towards his bedroom to grab the small elegant box that lies innocently by his bedside table. It's a simple ring with a small diamond at its centre—he remembers immediately liking it only at first glance, and before he gets lost in looking at it again, his door clicks open. 

Hanbin pockets the box, as he tries to school his expression into something much more calmer, before going out to meet his guest.

* * *

Jinhwan is nervous. It became apparent that agreeing to come at Hanbin's place is a bad idea, but there's no turning back now when the door opens. The password is still the same—940207, his own birthday, and Jinhwan suddenly feels like puking due to his nerves.

The place is like the last time he visited, which is probably weeks ago. Jinhwan hated how Hanbin would act like nothing has changed over the course of his absence, would contact him as if he didn't just disappear for a month, but he hated himself more for still coming back here. He hated how he'll always come running back to him, no matter how much he had cursed the man on the days he was gone. He had always felt he was played, but he had no one to blame but himself for falling in this trap.

A step inside the penthouse has Jinhwan's knees almost buckling beneath him. It's a terrible idea to come here, especially now that he could see the candlelit table, feeling silly that he believed Hanbin wouldn't pull a  _ prank _ after he had stressed that it would just be a simple dinner, like the good old times. 

The owner of the unit is nowhere in sight, and Jinhwan feels a slight hope that they could still leave and save themselves from the impending doom. As if mocking him, Hanbin suddenly showed up from his room, dressed simply but elegantly, smiling at him as he walks towards his direction. Jinhwan involuntary takes a step back, his heart sinking, and if Hanbin noticed that he's a nervous wreck he didn't say anything, just continues to walk until he's standing before him.

"I miss you." 

A hand that snakes on his sides and pulls him close towards the intimidating man has Jinhwan gasping, but despite the whirlwind of events, he still manages to turn his head away at the aimed kiss. Hanbin's lips lands lamely on his right cheek, just as Jinhwan's heart sinks lower to the ground when steps echo behind him. 

Jinhwan forces himself out of the man's hold, creating some distance between them, as he silently wishes he had just ignored his call earlier this morning. 

* * *

The mood is strange when Bobby comes in. He found Jinhwan on this unknown man's arms, and it isn't really a nice sight. It's far from pleasing, and it had his heart constricting—something that he had just chalked up due to his own nerves. They must have had sensed his presence, or atleast Jinhwan did, because he's suddenly pulling the man's arms off him. Jinhwan steps backward, his shoulders slump and his head hanging low, and that's when Bobby finally manages to look at the man who invited them over. 

Their eyes met, surprised at the hostility and coldness that reflected on them. Bobby doesn't back down as he holds the man's icy glare, only breaking it off when Jinhwan begins to speak. 

"Hanbin, this is Bobby." 

Bobby steps forward, now standing beside the shorter male. His voice sounds weird—shaky even, and when he looks down, Jinhwan's hand is busy on tearing the skin around his nails again. He's anxious. 

"He's someone I worked with."

Bobby encloses Jinhwan's hand in his, stopping the older from doing more damage on his fingers. He feels eyes on them, and true enough, when he looks back up, the man before him is looking at their joined hands. 

He extends his hand for a handshake, keeping his composure even after Jinhwan snatches his hands away from his grip. 

Hanbin stares at his outstretched hand, ignoring it as he turns his attention back to Jinhwan.

"You didn't mention that you'll bring someone." 

Bobby pulls his hand back, understanding that his presence isn't welcomed tonight. Still, he won't give Hanbin the satisfaction by leaving, especially now that Jinhwan doesn't seem that comfortable around the arrogant man. 

"I did. But you kept cutting me off." 

"Kim Hanbin, or B.I, the genius composer."

Just like before, Hanbin only stares at him, before showing his back and walking away without a single word. Bobby is supposed to follow him, but a hand on his sleeves stops him from doing so. 

"Please, don't." 

Bobby melts immediately, upon looking at the smaller male. He lifts his hands up to caress the latter's cheek, breaking into a small smile when Jinhwan's feature relaxes, his eyes closing in a gentle hum. 

Their comfortable bubble bursts when a rude voice interrupts them. Bobby lets his hand fall, and Jinhwan opens his eyes, back to his nervous self.

"Don't just stand there like some idiots."

This time, when they walk forward and Bobby takes Jinhwan's hand in his, Jinhwan lets him. 

  
  
  



	8. junhwan. jeju.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, i wrote this way back, and I'm surprised i never finished this. i only tweaked and added a couple of paragraphs to complete this so, hope someone could still read this and enjoy!

Junhoe closes the bathroom door quietly after taking a well deserved bath, steam emerging from the warm water that he'd used and emptied. The door makes a soft click, but due to the silence that blanketed their dorm, the sound is magnified, eliciting a wince from him. It's  _ so  _ so quiet, and it has been like this for weeks now.

Junhoe hangs his towel on his shoulder as he begins his short trip back to his own room. He can't help but to take a quick glance at the unsurprisingly deserted living room area— an action out of habit, his mind forcing him to remember that someone would always be lounging on their wide sofa even though it's clearly not the case right now. Their dorm would always have visits from the occupants on the floor above them, and admittedly, his own random burst of noise disturbances that would include him singing the same verses for the whole day. The lower floor dorm was usually bursting with energy, only peaceful when everyone's tired from a whole day of practice. They had just finished their rehearsal for their upcoming tour today, but Junhoe  _ knows _ that it's different from before. 

It's not the physical exhaustion that's causing the silence from the rest of the members now.

Everyone and everything has changed in the short span of time. Junhoe sends a somber fleeting glance at his members' perpetually close doors, a sigh escaping his lips before entering his own room. 

Once inside, Junhoe surveys his room, which is as messy as ever, before opening his center light because the dim lights are certainly not making him feel any better. He feels the sudden urge to sing out loud, scream or anything that would help him unload some heaviness in his chest, but he forces himself not to, instead, choosing to hum a song that he once heard when he visited their leader's studio one night. 

It's a great song— a little rough around the edges since it's still not polished yet, but the melody is addicting. It has been stuck in his head and it's a potential hit, but now that Hanbin was forced out of their group in a blink of an eye, Junhoe wonders if the world could ever hear it, because if they do, he is sure that they would love it like he does.

Junhoe flings his bath towel somewhere and navigates his way to his desk chair. He can't sleep now even if he wants to because his hair is still damp, so he picks his little notebook and turns it to his bookmarked page. Maybe he'll just write another song today to pass his time.

  
  


* * *

  
  


It's a futile attempt. 

Junhoe is supposed to write some verses to add on his already halfway piece, and yet he only found himself scribbling aimlessly on the said page, drawing some random figures that don't make any sense even for him. Half an hour had already passed and his hair had already dried, but he's still stuck on his chair, staring at the messy scrawls that are now surrounding the once neat page. 

He made a mental note to rewrite his already made verses later— at least those that have a decent thought in them, or else he'll completely forget about it.

Junhoe slumps further on his seat as he releases another sigh. He's been doing that a lot lately—sighing and staring into space. He could usually finish at least two verses a day, or even a complete poem or song when he's really into it, but clearly not today. 

A fleeting thought passed on his mind but no, he won't drink today. Contrary to popular belief, he's quite aware of how much he drinks, and by his count, he has already exceeded his bottle limit for the week, and he's a man with principle so he won't drink for the rest of the days this week. Thankfully, it's already Friday, which means that he won't be holding off for so long.

Having no choices left to choose from, he decides to just sleep. He rolls his stiff shoulders— a product of their grueling concert rehearsals, groaning appreciatively when he presses on the right spots behind his shoulder blade. His muscles ache, a fact that he surprisingly ignored until now, and maybe he really needs to call it a day already. 

Junhoe throws himself on his unkempt bed after finishing with his short self service massage session. His bed creaked due to his weight and there is some strange object that's digging on his back so he tosses and turns, swiping all the unnecessary things beneath him, uncaring as some of it hits the ground with a resounding crack.

It doesn't take too long before he could now lay his back on his bed comfortably, finally. He stares at his ceiling for a while before closing his eyes, willing for the sleepiness to enter his system. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Junhoe remains his eyes closed even after he hears his door open. He only had his desk light open and it's quite dark inside, so it's only acceptable that his guest tonight let out a few quiet curses when he most probably stumbled, or stepped on unknown objects scattered on the floor. 

He is supposed to be sleeping, so he continues to pretend that he is, even though his reaction when a cold hand lands on his leg is too conscious for his act to be believable. He knows that his visitor thinks the same too, because said hand moves to his shoulder to lightly tap him, urging him to wake up. 

"Junhoe, I know you're still awake." Jinhwan's tired voice rang softly in the quietness of his room. "Scoot over."

A beat, and then a sigh. So it's kind of like their thing now— sighing. Jinhwan's taps on his shoulder grow stronger, but not enough to actually cause him pain, so maybe if he ignores it enough, Jinhwan will go away. 

"Junhoe move, I want to lie too. Make-" Jinhwan pauses, and in a much quieter tone, adds, "Make space for me too."

By now, Junhoe is only doing this to play with their eldest because, just because. 

"Okay, so you are so into your fake sleeping now. I get it."

He sounds so disappointed that Junhoe is already reaching out to him before his mind could even process it. Jinhwan looks soft and exhausted under the dim lights— his mouth set in a frown and his eyes dull, and Junhoe feels his heart crack at the sight. 

Because speaking isn't his strong point on moments like these, he wordlessly scoots to the side, patting the now free space beside. There isn't much, but he knows that Jinhwan doesn't mind. 

Jinhwan is a warm presence beside him. He grounds him when Junhoe's mind begins to wander. An anchor, a steady one— his only one, and Junhoe hopes that Jinhwan feels the same. That he's here because Junhoe provides the same comfort to him.

Jinhwan's voice is soft, but it easily breaks into his train of thoughts. "Wanna go to Jeju with me?" 

Junhoe has been thinking a lot lately. But on this one, he doesn't have to think too hard. 

"Sure, hyung."

His answer will always be the same. 


	9. junhwan. prompt reqs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> posted on twt first! i suddenly had an urge to write about them again, so i asked moots to drop some prompt.

  * **cafe, fluff**

Junhoe needs a coffee. He doesn't care that they're experiencing the brunt of summer at the moment—the steady rise of temperature each day is fairly alarming, nor does he care that he's supposed to be avoiding caffeinated drinks because according to his secretary, he won't visit him at the hospital if he happens to suddenly fall over with how much he's consuming said drink. Junhoe tried to joke, asking if he'd at least send a fruit basket to him, but all that he received was a firm glare. 

Which was quite rude because he's his _ boss _. But Yiwen was his friend first, before anything else, so Junhoe had been behaving nicely, had appreciated that he cared, though he still grumbled about missing it from time to time.

It had been weeks since it happened, and Junhoe is done being a good boy. 

He's a bad boy, so he will get that coffee. 

(He sent Yiwen on an errand, somewhere far so he could enjoy his moment with his coffee before he came back. He's a _ smart _ bad boy.)

Junhoe is a stuttering, foolish boy. That's what he is.

He would blame his nerves to the caffeine on his system, but he hasn't even taken a sip on his damned coffee. He can say that he's just nervous because he's betraying his friend, but his mind unhelpfully reminds him that he practically skipped his way over to this quaint cafe, giddy at the thought of tasting coffee after what felt like years. Every possible excuse that he can come up with is met with a sound reason, so Junhoe stopped himself before he gave himself a migraine from all the thinking. 

Junhoe turns his attention back to the counter, which is only a fair distance away from his table, and glares at the sunny, smiling barista, _ flirting _ his way through another customer again. 

He isn't jealous. Just a disclaimer, he wants to put it out there. He's just annoyed that the barista managed to turn him into a bumbling fool, all because he had winked at him. And called him handsome. And said his eyebrows looked nice. And plenty other things that Junhoe refused to remember or else he'll combust. Right on this spot. 

The point is, Junhoe prides himself for staying unruffled especially on the face of intimidating, cunning, lecherous businessmen— hence he's able to keep his position despite his age, but apparently, he's nothing against that _ damned flirt _. 

The barista— Jinhwan from what he had read on his name tag, laughs, his expression open and carefree. Junhoe is stunned at the sight— and oh, what a sight it really is, his thoughts coming into a screeching halt. Jinhwan probably feels the weight of his stare because he looks back at him, his smile turning impossibly wider and oh, god, he's so _ so _ pretty. Possibly the prettiest one he's ever met so far. That's what probably sets him apart from others. Junhoe hasn't met anyone who looks like they really mean what they say. And with a face like that. 

Junhoe is fairly sure he's going to fall over for an entirely different reason. 

Junhoe doesn't gape. He has at least half a mind to keep his jaw from dropping on the floor. It's an undeniable feat, Yiwen should be proud of him. But he's obviously not here because of a very reasonable errand, so Junhoe will have to pat himself on the back. That will do.

His phone vibrates so suddenly in his pocket, signalling that his precious free time is up. Did he really spend half an hour stealing glances on the barista? Apparently, yes. He's grappled by an urge to stay longer, but he figures he had already pushed his luck today. So, despite the whirlpool of emotions he's refused to pick apart from each other just yet, Junhoe stands steadily on his feet, as gracefully as he could—desperately summoning all his years of experience on carrying himself around the public, and then he meets Jinhwan's eyes, before tilting his head to the side. 

That should mean something. The gesture should translate to something he's meaning to say, but after he's done it, he isn't entirely sure if he's done it right. 

Junhoe's back is stiff as he walks towards the door, and it's taking him all the willpower not to look back and check Jinhwan's reaction, wanting to know if he's impressed with him. That he realized Junhoe is a respectable man, despite his blunder earlier. 

It isn't until he's sure that he's entirely out of the café's view that he allows himself to relax. 

And then he remembers that he forgot his coffee. 

* * *

  * **isekai, light angst**

The novelty eventually wears off. 

Jinhwan can move things at will. He can set things on fire with a flick of his wrist, and turn them into ice with a whistle from his lips. He can travel across cities in a blink of an eye, and he can read anyone's mind if he concentrates hard enough. Among other things, aside from his supernatural abilities, in this universe— in this version of himself, he's married to the love of his life.

Jinhwan is powerful. Enemies fear him, people respect him and the governing body is at his own bidding. He goes to sleep and wakes up in Junhoe's arms, receives his kisses whenever he demands for one. This is everything that he dreams of and so much more, but, despite everything, Jinhwan has begun to wish to be brought back. To wake up on his cold and empty apartment alone, to the world where he's just _ someone _. 

Junhoe loves him. The heroine Jinhwan, not the commoner-thrusted-so-suddenly-in-this world Jinhwan. He has no idea about the history that went down between the two of them, but he suspects it must have run so deep if Junhoe loves that Jinhwan so fiercely.

It's a love that isn't meant for him. With an aching heart, Jinhwan realizes that whenever he goes, Junhoe's love will always be for someone else. 

Junhoe waltzes into his vision with a gentle smile on his face. Jinhwan forces a smile of his own, and before he could be asked if something's wrong— he knows he's an open book as much as he is, he lunges forward to slot his lips against Junhoe's. 

Junhoe kisses back without an ounce of hesitation. Despite it, the kiss tastes bitter.

Jinhwan wishes to return when tomorrow comes.

  
  


* * *

  * **dream, no rating**

Junhoe dreamed. 

By his count— and boy, he's been dutifully counting— it's been weeks since it started. At first, he had brushed it off as nothing, because what's a couple of dreams anyway, right? But then it kept on happening, snippets that actually connect with each other and left him feeling disconcerted once he had woken up. Like he had failed to do something important. It left him feeling like there's a gaping hole in his chest, and the feeling persisted even after he had forgotten about the details he had seen in his dream.

So, Junhoe began to take notes. Everyday, the moment he woke up, Junhoe would reach for his little notebook and pen on his night table and scribble away. Then later, when he's showered and ready to go about his day, he would take a moment to organize his earlier notes until they're coherent, until he could almost picture the scene behind his lids from the string of words he'd created. Some days, he'll leave early after finishing quickly, but there were, of course, rougher days when he just couldn't seem to form the right structure that would best describe his dream. 

It's always changing. Junhoe would find himself at an unfamiliar location each time. The only constant was his companion— a man almost a head shorter than him, who had a warm touch and even warmer laugh. Junhoe was never alone in his dream, but no matter how much he tried to remember what the man exactly looked like, he couldn't. It's always the same heart shape mole that he's left with, and nothing more. Junhoe could tell that the man had a lovely pair of eyes, but what's the defining characteristic? He couldn't really remember. It frustrated him, but there's nothing he could do. 

Except to write poems. That's what he did. And write songs too, if he's feeling that inspired. The man had unknowingly become his muse. He had begun to regularly upload his poems on a separate channel and by some pure luck, a traction of people started to eventually notice him, and then the attention continued until his account had a decent following, and a couple avid readers who he suspected, had his account on notif. 

It's harmless. The dreams, aside from the brief period of hollowness he'll go through every time, had been harmless. His friends also thought that as long as he could still sleep well at night and do his job without fail during the day, then he didn't need to mind it too much. Just let it.... happen. So Junhoe did. Junhoe didn't mention that he picked up poetry again, all because of his dreams. That would surely change that tide for them.

Junhoe was brought out of reverie by a single notification popping out on his screen. He chanced a quick glance at the clock, groaning lowly once he realized how much time had passed. Focusing back on his screen, Junhoe noted that it's a message request on his poetry account, and since he still had a couple of minutes to spare before his break would end, he clicked on it.

It's from a username he instantly recognized, one of his avid readers and supporters. Out of curiosity, he went to their profile to check them out one day, but it's basically empty aside from their display picture— the sea, and their name— Kim Jinhwan. Junhoe even thought that he started his account just to follow him, but that sounded too much even for him. 

The message— an innocuous looking question that had felt heavier than what he had expected, when he opened it, was like this. 

"_do you believe in the idea of soulmates?" _

  
  
  
  



End file.
